30 more days...and I'm freaking out!

In 30 days I'll either be moving into my boyfriend's place or (please please please) we'll be moving into our new home. I'm freaking out. I'm screaming on the inside. Why in the world am I NOT celebrating this huge milestone in our relationship?

I'm a complete neat freak. I have no idea where all my stuff is going to fit in his place. He has every inch of his 1700 square feet covered. What if I don't like it there? What if I can't watch my TV shows? Will my cats be happy? I'm a huge planner, can I live with someone who is so casual about the To Do list? I have a ton of clothes and shoes - where will they live?

My boyfriend isn't even remotely concerned. Or he doesn't seem like he's concerned. I'm freaking the &^%@ out! I do want to live with him, but our original plan was that his place would sell, I would rent my place out, and then we'd move in together. My place sold, his is still on the market, what the hell do we do now?

What makes it even scarier for me is that we don't even have a house in mind. We used to, but then it went off the market; of course, before that the owners were being so wishy washy (and delusional about the house's value) that we weren't certain an offer would even be entertained. Now my boyfriend is showing me homes that are 30 minutes from the train station in Everett. Do you know what that means? 1.5 hour commute to work, 1.5 hour commute from work - on a good day! He doesn't think that this is a problem. The cop who is AT work the second he turns on his car.

I will not cancel my contract. I will not cancel my contract. I will not cancel my contract. I know that this will all work out just fine, but the Type A person in me is surrounded by casual-hippie minded people and I want to demand that they join me in making lists of things to do so that we can check them off as they are done.

Oh hell!