From the beginning of our relationship my boyfriend and I have gone dutch. Either we trade off who pays (if I pay for lunch, my boyfriend pays for dinner) or we just have the bill sliced down the middle. On our first date, I paid. He thought I was sending a message at the time (no man owns me), but I just think that a woman can step up and pay just as easily as a man.
We also try and make a dollar limit on gifts so that one person doesn't go nuts while the other person is frugal. We don't track who has paid what, there isn't a "you owe me" mentality, and I think that this has kept money from becoming an issues in our relationship. Nothing kills romance faster.
When we move in together, we're going to go about things the same way. We plan to open up a joint account, have a portion of our checks auto deposited to said account, and I'll handle paying the bills (although we'll both have access to the books). I'm not a control freak, I just love that type of stuff. I love reconciling accounts, I love auto bill pay, I love working with vendors to get the best deal.
Right now, the biggest challenge regarding money is getting used to the idea that I (nor he) can spend without considering the household. I was planning to sponsor a booth at a pet festival for $500, which is above the $400 threshold we created. If either of us wants to spend this amount or more we need to run it by our partner. Fantastic idea, the left hand should always know what the right hand is doing.
We've made similar money rules about the division of our home's equity and costs related to our pets. The trick will see how we fair once we're actually living together. There may be some adjustments here and there, but nothing we can't handle. We've already discussed cutting way back on dining out and Costco will become our friend. Luckily I'm a good cook!
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