This is a tough one. We've made the choice to move in together and we're excited. When I'm excited about something, I tell everyone (which I'm learning to dampen down). It's a buzz kill when the response to the great news is negative. It's even more of a buzz kill when that negativity is repeated daily.
My friends have been wonderful and supportive. They're not happy that I've chosen to move to Marysville, but they understand and they're still excited for me and they adore my boyfriend.
My mom was worried about me selling my place at a loss to move in with my boyfriend - I worked hard to become a home owner and she doesn't like me walking away from that. Our home's value will increase faster than that of my condo, so she now understands that it's actually a good move, plus she likes my boyfriend.
My boyfriend's dad thinks it's a bad idea, he doesn't understand why we won't get married. I would be nice if he were on board with everyone else, because now there's this teeny elephant in the room, but he's entitled to his opinion. At least he cares enough for his son to give an opinion.
In the end, it doesn't matter what others think. It's our choice, our life, our home. We're adults and don't need to gain the approval of others. I spent so many years caring what others thought until I learned (I can't remember where I read this) that people's perception of you is based on their own past experiences. The best example I can think of the boyfriend who constantly accuses you of cheating while he's screwing everything that moves (his name was Joe).
How many times have you judged someone? Daily? Me too. And each judgement is based on my experience, not on their reality.
Granted we'll never escape wanting to be accepted and liked, but we have to start with ourselves, others will fall in line in their own good time.
My friends have been wonderful and supportive. They're not happy that I've chosen to move to Marysville, but they understand and they're still excited for me and they adore my boyfriend.
My mom was worried about me selling my place at a loss to move in with my boyfriend - I worked hard to become a home owner and she doesn't like me walking away from that. Our home's value will increase faster than that of my condo, so she now understands that it's actually a good move, plus she likes my boyfriend.
My boyfriend's dad thinks it's a bad idea, he doesn't understand why we won't get married. I would be nice if he were on board with everyone else, because now there's this teeny elephant in the room, but he's entitled to his opinion. At least he cares enough for his son to give an opinion.
In the end, it doesn't matter what others think. It's our choice, our life, our home. We're adults and don't need to gain the approval of others. I spent so many years caring what others thought until I learned (I can't remember where I read this) that people's perception of you is based on their own past experiences. The best example I can think of the boyfriend who constantly accuses you of cheating while he's screwing everything that moves (his name was Joe).
How many times have you judged someone? Daily? Me too. And each judgement is based on my experience, not on their reality.
Granted we'll never escape wanting to be accepted and liked, but we have to start with ourselves, others will fall in line in their own good time.
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