Wednesday, September 30, 2009

And we're passed the inspection...


Although the inspection wasn't required (there was never paperwork submitted that the offer was contingent upon an inspection) the couple took the time to have one done Monday evening and it went off smoothly. Of course, I wasn't very surprised, because my place is 2 years old, but in the back of my head were "what if" thoughts.

What if one of the dimmer switches I installed is faulty?
What if the outlet I replaced is faulty?
Oh yeah, I also replaced the light fixtures in the dining room and both bathrooms.
And in two closets and the hallways and both bedrooms.

I also replaced the carpet in my dining room with ceramic tile, reset the moulding, and installed a chair rail.

I replaced all the mini blinds with faux wood blinds and curtains.


Whew! The inspection went off without a hitch.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

New house that I love


Okay, so we've continued the house hunt and we have a list of wants. I love the craftsman style home and I think I may have found another house, but he doesn't like it. This is hard!


My list:

2500+ square feet

at least 1/2 acre, fully landscaped and fenced yard

garage on the side

3+ bedrooms, 2.5+ bathrooms

office/den

open concept / kitchen open to a family room

front and/or back covered deck/patio

move in ready

15-20 minute drive to the Everett train station


His list is the same as mine, except he wants 3000+ square feet, a bonus room for movie watching, and 3/4+ acres

Thursday, September 24, 2009

30 more days...and I'm freaking out!

In 30 days I'll either be moving into my boyfriend's place or (please please please) we'll be moving into our new home. I'm freaking out. I'm screaming on the inside. Why in the world am I NOT celebrating this huge milestone in our relationship?

I'm a complete neat freak. I have no idea where all my stuff is going to fit in his place. He has every inch of his 1700 square feet covered. What if I don't like it there? What if I can't watch my TV shows? Will my cats be happy? I'm a huge planner, can I live with someone who is so casual about the To Do list? I have a ton of clothes and shoes - where will they live?

My boyfriend isn't even remotely concerned. Or he doesn't seem like he's concerned. I'm freaking the &^%@ out! I do want to live with him, but our original plan was that his place would sell, I would rent my place out, and then we'd move in together. My place sold, his is still on the market, what the hell do we do now?

What makes it even scarier for me is that we don't even have a house in mind. We used to, but then it went off the market; of course, before that the owners were being so wishy washy (and delusional about the house's value) that we weren't certain an offer would even be entertained. Now my boyfriend is showing me homes that are 30 minutes from the train station in Everett. Do you know what that means? 1.5 hour commute to work, 1.5 hour commute from work - on a good day! He doesn't think that this is a problem. The cop who is AT work the second he turns on his car.

I will not cancel my contract. I will not cancel my contract. I will not cancel my contract. I know that this will all work out just fine, but the Type A person in me is surrounded by casual-hippie minded people and I want to demand that they join me in making lists of things to do so that we can check them off as they are done.

Oh hell!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

An Offer!

This morning, I was settling in for my lazy Saturday when I got a call from an agent to show my place. I cleaned myself up and skedaddled, I needed to run errands anyway. When I got home, I noticed the card was a repeat so I wondered if it was someone returning to see it again. I went on with my day...

An hour ago I got a call from my agent letting me know that an offer will be coming through in the morning. I can't believe it! I'll be moving in with my boyfriend now.

We meet tomorrow to go over the offer and my counter (if there is one).

Friday, September 18, 2009

Abusive relationships...

I've been in my share of bad relationships, but by bad I mean that the guy cheated on me, he lied, he was an ass, he may have beat up a little on my self esteem, but that was pretty much the extent of the bad.

I was hit by a guy when I was 15 and my Daddy took care of him. My ex-husband used to call me Jack as a nickname, it was short for Jackass. I dated another guy, Dan. He was my rebound after my divorce and he lied, cheated, and did little sneak attacks at my self esteem. That lasted 2 months. Another guy I dated, Shawn, attacked the esteem too. What all these men had in common was me and that I allowed them to get away with treating me badly. But through all of this, I've never been truly abused - you know, the type of abuse that leaves a mark.

I know someone who is in an abusive relationship and I don't understand why she stays. Whenever I hear about women in abusive relationships, I always wonder why they just don't leave. But what if you can't? That question popped into my head recently when I started imagining myself in this women's position.

For a woman to leave an abusive man she has to...
  1. Find a place to live, if she has kids, she'll have to consider how many rooms, will she have to put the kids into a new school
  2. Possibly change jobs, because her husband may confront her at work
  3. Who's going to help her move? Someone told me that many abusers alienate the person so that they no longer have friends or family to support them.
  4. Will he let her leave? Can she call the police to stand guard while she packs? Will they do that?
  5. If everything is in his name, than will she have the credit to get place, will she have a car, will she have credit or money?

This is overwhelming? In an economy that is bringing out the worse in people, there are so many women out there that are living in this stressful, overwhelming atmosphere with no way out, or so it appears.

Now, instead of asking why they don't leave, I wonder about the ones who do leave. How did they get the strength and courage to leave?

Monday, September 14, 2009

Secret Single Behavior

Do you remember the episode of Sex in the City where they discussed Secret Single Behavior? I've been thinking about it a lot recently. I have a quite a few that my boyfriend is starting to learn about (after 4+ years)...
  • I like to watch movies on rainy days. I pick two or three and sit and watch them back to back.
  • When I'm sick, I get up, take a shower, change my sheets, and lounge around in fresh PJs all day. If I'm coming down with something, I do a huge cleaning, because I can't stand my place to be messy, it drives me nuts when I'm sick.
  • I like to work out at home, but alone and in private. I don't mind going to the gym with someone, but I like to work out alone.
  • My cats are my babies and they're spoiled spoiled spoiled. I let them drink from the bathroom faucets, Cosmo has his own chair, Jaffrey has his own blankets.
  • I read 4 to 5 books at once (photography, LOA, fiction, romance, and marketing). And I have so many shows recording on my DVR it's nuts (Friday night is catch up night).
  • Although I don't sleep late, I don't get up at the crack of dawn like somebody does.
  • I rarely eat a big breakfast.
  • I sleep in rollers sometimes.

He has a lot to learn (wicked laugh)...

Our First Fight

My boyfriend and I had our first fight last night and it was a doozy. We don't do the yelling and screaming, but we were both angry, focused on being understood, and completely on different sides of a canyon.

What started it all? Oh, I would love to use this blog to vent vent vent, but I won't. It wasn't the subject matter that caused the fight, it was the delivery. My boyfriend wanted to ask me a question about my side of a conflict (with a third party), but, instead, he gave me feedback, constructive criticism, information on what I should know about myself and how I am sometimes.

As a woman, I'm sure you can image just how welcome that feedback was; as a man, you might recall a time when you decided to give someone unsolicited feedback - are you cringing at the memory? Not that all men do this, because I've been guilty of offering up my advice and I learned to (1) tread carefully and (2) ask if people would like my opinions.

I took a deep breath, and then took a few more, and reminded myself that my boyfriend is just trying to help, in his way, and I listened and tried not to scream and yell. For some reason, men shut way down in the face of our drama, so I stayed cool (well, as cool as I could at the moment). We talked it out and everyone is fine. We're still on track to move in together, but several questions were raised for both of us.

So I guess disagreements do have a place in a relationship.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Getting used to each other...

Although we've been together for over four years, now that we're moving in together, we look at each other in an entire new light. On the first good rainy weekend of the year (fall time) I love to sit at home and watch movies all day. So far, I've watched Usual Suspects and I'm currently watching Transformers. My boyfriend loves to get up early and head out to enjoy the world. So today we compromised. We drove out to see two houses he found online (far far out) and then I came home for a movie afternoon. We'll reconnect later for dinner at my place (or his).

It'll be interesting when we live together, because he's an early riser, I'm only one, because years of getting up for work have taken their toll. I love to work out at home, alone, he goes to the gym. I think my cats are smarter than I am, and although he loves my cats, he doesn't give them that much credit. I think we need two dogs, he thinks one will be just fine. And it goes on and on.

I love my boyfriend and he loves me. But our first few months living together are going to be hilarious!