I want my Comcast...

I'm sitting here on a quiet, peaceful Saturday morning in my house (wondering where the cats took off too) and I just heard a commercial (listening to the radio). In this uncertain economy, when so many people are concerned about their finances, what does Comcast do? They raise their customers rates. That's about the gist of what was said.

I called Comcast last month when I first heard that rates would go up and the customer service agent went over my account line by line to show me where I'd see increases. It amounted to a couple bucks a month. This is just one example of the fantastic customer service I've always received from Comcast. I've been a customer for eons, moving from place to place, always taking my receivers with me, which reminds me, I need to drop them off next week. Don't let the commercials fool you.

Direct TV is in the house adding a new DVR receiver and upgrading our system. I'm not sure what that last part means except that it won't cost anything extra.

I can't help but feel a little out of sorts. I know it's ridiculous to love television so much and I know that I watch entire too much. I miss The Daily Show and South Park. I didn't get to see Grey's Anatomy, Hereos, or the Dollhouse this week. I have no idea what's happening with the Real Housewives of Atlanta and I missed Lie to Me and all of my CSI shows.

If I had Comcast, some of these are on the On Demand menu. The week with television hasn't been too bad. I'm completely unpacked, I've been able to catch up with my social networking, I have a pile of books to read, and I've rediscovered radio. All in all, a good week and the boyfriend has agreed that Comcast can come back once his contract runs out or when we move to our new home, whichever comes faster.

Adventures in moving, blog posts...

I posted several blog posts about the move to my boyfriend's place on my Pet Photography blog...here's the LINK!

I'm screaming inside (and a little outside too)

When a couple makes the decision to live together it should be a happy time. I was looking forward to selling our places and house hunting with my boyfriend. But the economy sucked the life out of our happy time and we had to start tapping the breaks.

The economy sucks. Thankfully we still have great jobs. There are hundreds and hundreds of homes on the market, but when you add in our list of requirements that list dwindles down to NOTHING. Well, very few homes.

The homes that we love either fly off the market (we still have one home to sell) or they're priced too high. So many people leveraged their homes in a over stated market and now have two choices, find someone who can afford their over priced home or give it back to the bank. We don't want to pay too much, but we also don't want to deal with the mad tangle of short sales and foreclosures.

It's frustrating. It's exhausting. It's sooo not romantic. But at least we have a break, we're going to enjoy the holidays and each other and our kitties and try again in the spring.

And the move has started...

Today my boyfriend and I started moving my stuff to storage - my garage is so clean and empty, come to think of it, my place is looking a little sparse in areas too. My boyfriend has a 12 year old son. At twelve years old he knows a lot and I'm amazed at his endless patience in dealing with a group of short sighted adults who are soooo uncool.

Do you remember twelve? Do you remember how you knew everything? Do you remember your inability to allow adults to have a conversation without interrupting? Do you remember how you'd die if you didn't get the latest this or that? I remember these things and those memories dance around my head when I hear "soooorrrryyyyyyy" or "oookaaaayyyyyy" or the mumbling as they walk away, because twelve year olds HAVE to have the last word.

Recently we went to the Sequim Animal Park. The twelve year old wanted to go to the petting farm at the end, but we didn't have time. We parked outside the restrooms and went in; since he was going to stay with the car, we left it unlocked, my purse and camera equipment were sitting in the front, the navigational was on the dash. As we're walking out of the restroom, the kid is halfway to the petting zoo. "Where are you going? All of our stuff is unsecure in the car." "Ummm, the restroom." He did an about face and went to the restroom. I'm certain I did something similar frequently (sorry, Mom).

His inability to listen, to follow instructions, and his frequent sarcasm, arguing, and talking back had me a little freaked. I've never lived with a child before and the idea of living with a pre-teen who is in the midst of a hormonal break down some days is frightening. So my boyfriend and I had that talk and then he brought the kid down to help us move (he didn't help) and he was great, and he listened, and we had a great time. He's a fun kid, and so much fun to talk to, and I do not envy the era that he's about to enter, because adolescence sucks!

Comcast, On Demand, I'll Miss You...

I watch a lot of television. A Lot. Double Underline, Bold, All Caps, Scarlet Red - A Lot.

Here's my short list...Heroes, Lie to Me, Life, Housewives of Atlanta, Grey's Anatomy, CSI (Vegas, Miami, New York), Law & Order (just the original), Oprah on Fridays, Drop Dead Diva, South Park, Family Guy, Project Runway, The Hills, The City, Numbers, Inside the Actors Studio...

Just to name a few. Hence my glorious, lovely DVR.

Four the past 4 years, only my girlfriends knew of my television habit, because we occasionally dish about our shows. But as my boyfriend and I are getting ready for the Big Move, he's is starting to become aware, and comment, and judge.

This is my first sacrifice. Not TV, but Comcast. I love that I have the DVR. I love that I can troll the On Demand menu for shows that I missed, because you can only DVR so much. I love the free movies, the Starz Early Premieres. I love Fear Channel. I love Adult Swim and Bridezilla. I love Animal Planet and History Channel. And I know that all of these are offered by Direct TV, but I like to watch it as the mood strikes - only Comcast allows this.

Today I called to cancel my Comcast. I was expected to commiserate with the customer service person about how horrible it is that I'm moving to a Direct TV household. I was even hoping to receive an offer to buy us out of the last few months of that contract so that I can bring Comcast with me. What did I get? "Good luck with the move." That's it! I know that's nice. Comcast isn't obligated to offer me anything. Or ARE they? I've been a loyal company since before they were Comcast. I love love love On Demand. I want to stay!

Dammit.

Men's Brains vs Women's Brains...

I found this on a blog by Cindy Holman that I follow and it's a hilarious explanation of why we're different.

With him comes the family...

Have you ever wondered why a woman doesn't just leave an abusive situation? All she has to do is call a couple of friends over to keep watch while she packs and...

FIND A NEW HOME
find a place to stay with enough room for her, the kids, and the pets; come up with first, last, and damage deposit for this place that takes lots of pets; rent a moving truck and have enough friends available to help you move

by the way, you're doing this under a barrage of abuse, threats, and a lovely pity party

THE KIDS
if the kids are school aged, then either this has drastically limited your choice in homes (which is already limited by the fact that you need so much space, it needs to accept pets, and you're on a budget), because you'll want to keep them in the same school district (at least keep something the same); if staying in the school district isn't a possibility, then you'll have to uproot your kids from their school too and if school's already started, then that's another hardship to deal with

by the way, you're husband is probably threatening suicide now and blaming you

THE PETS
when you have a family, you adopt pets; landlords are wary of pets, because of the damage they can do to a home and yard so they either say NO to pets or they require a spendy, nonrefundable, damage deposit, if you're on a budget, can you afford another deposit; but pets are family members too so you can't leave them behind with the abuser

by the way, your husband has been unpredictable and threatening physical abuse, so are you sure he won't hurt the pets

BUSINESS
what if you have a business, a new business? this life interruption may damage the progress you've made, because you may have to take off a week or two to get everything settled; clients are hard to come by with heavy competition and a down economy, so this needs to be handled with kid gloves

by the way, your husband has access to your client files, website, and other marketing materials and threatens to ruin your reputation

THE FRIENDS /FAMILY
if you're like me, then you have no experience with domestic violence, not even in the peripheral; how do you support someone going through something like this? how do you deal with their wishy-washy demeanor when it comes to dealing with this overwhelming list of things to do? how does the wife ask for help and support while standing tall on her own?

And we're passed the inspection...

Although the inspection wasn't required (there was never paperwork submitted that the offer was contingent upon an inspection) the couple took the time to have one done Monday evening and it went off smoothly. Of course, I wasn't very surprised, because my place is 2 years old, but in the back of my head were "what if" thoughts.

What if one of the dimmer switches I installed is faulty?

What if the outlet I replaced is faulty?

Oh yeah, I also replaced the light fixtures in the dining room and both bathrooms.

And in two closets and the hallways and both bedrooms.

I also replaced the carpet in my dining room with ceramic tile, reset the moulding, and installed a chair rail.

I replaced all the mini blinds with faux wood blinds and curtains.

Whew! The inspection went off without a hitch.

New house that I love

Okay, so we've continued the house hunt and we have a list of wants. I love the craftsman style home and I think I may have found another house, but he doesn't like it. This is hard!

My list:

2500+ square feet

at least 1/2 acre, fully landscaped and fenced yard

garage on the side

3+ bedrooms, 2.5+ bathrooms

office/den

open concept / kitchen open to a family room

front and/or back covered deck/patio

move in ready

15-20 minute drive to the Everett train station

His list is the same as mine, except he wants 3000+ square feet, a bonus room for movie watching, and 3/4+ acres

30 more days...and I'm freaking out!

In 30 days I'll either be moving into my boyfriend's place or (please please please) we'll be moving into our new home. I'm freaking out. I'm screaming on the inside. Why in the world am I NOT celebrating this huge milestone in our relationship?

I'm a complete neat freak. I have no idea where all my stuff is going to fit in his place. He has every inch of his 1700 square feet covered. What if I don't like it there? What if I can't watch my TV shows? Will my cats be happy? I'm a huge planner, can I live with someone who is so casual about the To Do list? I have a ton of clothes and shoes - where will they live?

My boyfriend isn't even remotely concerned. Or he doesn't seem like he's concerned. I'm freaking the &^%@ out! I do want to live with him, but our original plan was that his place would sell, I would rent my place out, and then we'd move in together. My place sold, his is still on the market, what the hell do we do now?

What makes it even scarier for me is that we don't even have a house in mind. We used to, but then it went off the market; of course, before that the owners were being so wishy washy (and delusional about the house's value) that we weren't certain an offer would even be entertained. Now my boyfriend is showing me homes that are 30 minutes from the train station in Everett. Do you know what that means? 1.5 hour commute to work, 1.5 hour commute from work - on a good day! He doesn't think that this is a problem. The cop who is AT work the second he turns on his car.

I will not cancel my contract. I will not cancel my contract. I will not cancel my contract. I know that this will all work out just fine, but the Type A person in me is surrounded by casual-hippie minded people and I want to demand that they join me in making lists of things to do so that we can check them off as they are done.

Oh hell!

An Offer!

This morning, I was settling in for my lazy Saturday when I got a call from an agent to show my place. I cleaned myself up and skedaddled, I needed to run errands anyway. When I got home, I noticed the card was a repeat so I wondered if it was someone returning to see it again. I went on with my day...

An hour ago I got a call from my agent letting me know that an offer will be coming through in the morning. I can't believe it! I'll be moving in with my boyfriend now.

We meet tomorrow to go over the offer and my counter (if there is one).

Abusive relationships...

I've been in my share of bad relationships, but by bad I mean that the guy cheated on me, he lied, he was an ass, he may have beat up a little on my self esteem, but that was pretty much the extent of the bad.

I was hit by a guy when I was 15 and my Daddy took care of him. My ex-husband used to call me Jack as a nickname, it was short for Jackass. I dated another guy, Dan. He was my rebound after my divorce and he lied, cheated, and did little sneak attacks at my self esteem. That lasted 2 months. Another guy I dated, Shawn, attacked the esteem too. What all these men had in common was me and that I allowed them to get away with treating me badly. But through all of this, I've never been truly abused - you know, the type of abuse that leaves a mark.

I know someone who is in an abusive relationship and I don't understand why she stays. Whenever I hear about women in abusive relationships, I always wonder why they just don't leave. But what if you can't? That question popped into my head recently when I started imagining myself in this women's position.

For a woman to leave an abusive man she has to...

1. Find a place to live, if she has kids, she'll have to consider how many rooms, will she have to put the kids into a new school
2. Possibly change jobs, because her husband may confront her at work
3. Who's going to help her move? Someone told me that many abusers alienate the person so that they no longer have friends or family to support them.
4. Will he let her leave? Can she call the police to stand guard while she packs? Will they do that?
5. If everything is in his name, than will she have the credit to get place, will she have a car, will she have credit or money?

This is overwhelming? In an economy that is bringing out the worse in people, there are so many women out there that are living in this stressful, overwhelming atmosphere with no way out, or so it appears.

Now, instead of asking why they don't leave, I wonder about the ones who do leave. How did they get the strength and courage to leave?

Secret Single Behavior

Do you remember the episode of Sex in the City where they discussed Secret Single Behavior? I've been thinking about it a lot recently. I have a quite a few that my boyfriend is starting to learn about (after 4+ years)...

• I like to watch movies on rainy days. I pick two or three and sit and watch them back to back.
• When I'm sick, I get up, take a shower, change my sheets, and lounge around in fresh PJs all day. If I'm coming down with something, I do a huge cleaning, because I can't stand my place to be messy, it drives me nuts when I'm sick.
• I like to work out at home, but alone and in private. I don't mind going to the gym with someone, but I like to work out alone.
• My cats are my babies and they're spoiled spoiled spoiled. I let them drink from the bathroom faucets, Cosmo has his own chair, Jaffrey has his own blankets.
• I read 4 to 5 books at once (photography, LOA, fiction, romance, and marketing). And I have so many shows recording on my DVR it's nuts (Friday night is catch up night).
• Although I don't sleep late, I don't get up at the crack of dawn like somebody does.
• I rarely eat a big breakfast.
• I sleep in rollers sometimes.

He has a lot to learn (wicked laugh)...

Our First Fight

My boyfriend and I had our first fight last night and it was a doozy. We don't do the yelling and screaming, but we were both angry, focused on being understood, and completely on different sides of a canyon.

What started it all? Oh, I would love to use this blog to vent vent vent, but I won't. It wasn't the subject matter that caused the fight, it was the delivery. My boyfriend wanted to ask me a question about my side of a conflict (with a third party), but, instead, he gave me feedback, constructive criticism, information on what I should know about myself and how I am sometimes.

As a woman, I'm sure you can image just how welcome that feedback was; as a man, you might recall a time when you decided to give someone unsolicited feedback - are you cringing at the memory? Not that all men do this, because I've been guilty of offering up my advice and I learned to (1) tread carefully and (2) ask if people would like my opinions.

I took a deep breath, and then took a few more, and reminded myself that my boyfriend is just trying to help, in his way, and I listened and tried not to scream and yell. For some reason, men shut way down in the face of our drama, so I stayed cool (well, as cool as I could at the moment). We talked it out and everyone is fine. We're still on track to move in together, but several questions were raised for both of us.

So I guess disagreements do have a place in a relationship.

Getting used to each other...

Although we've been together for over four years, now that we're moving in together, we look at each other in an entire new light. On the first good rainy weekend of the year (fall time) I love to sit at home and watch movies all day. So far, I've watched Usual Suspects and I'm currently watching Transformers. My boyfriend loves to get up early and head out to enjoy the world. So today we compromised. We drove out to see two houses he found online (far far out) and then I came home for a movie afternoon. We'll reconnect later for dinner at my place (or his).

It'll be interesting when we live together, because he's an early riser, I'm only one, because years of getting up for work have taken their toll. I love to work out at home, alone, he goes to the gym. I think my cats are smarter than I am, and although he loves my cats, he doesn't give them that much credit. I think we need two dogs, he thinks one will be just fine. And it goes on and on.

I love my boyfriend and he loves me. But our first few months living together are going to be hilarious!

Real estate agents & miscommunication

The dream house that I loved so much, the most recent one, has been sold. It's been under contract for nearly 2 months. So when an agent met us so that we could tour the house, it had already been sold to someone else. And for a fantastic price (because it's bank owned).

I'm astounded that one real estate agent was so clueless about the status of the home and that the agent that broke the news to us was so sarcastic and rude about it. "Didn't you notice that there wasn't a sign in front of the house?" Yes, Lady, I did notice. The other agent told us it was because the bank had taken it off the market and was planning to re-list it in a month.

I finally told my boyfriend that I can't look for houses with him anymore. This has always been my stance, because we can't do anything until at least one of our places sell, so why get our hopes up. But his motto is "forewarned is forearmed."

We're having a stand still right now. Not a fight, just silence. I'm exhausted from all of this and we haven't even gotten started yet. What's most interesting is that we're really learning a lot about ourselves and each other.

My boyfriend wants to talk things out over and over and to everyone. I just like to take things one step at a time, focusing most of my attention on the current moment.

My boyfriend wants to be prepared for all possibilities; I don't think that is possible, because the possibilities are endless.

At least we respect our differences and even appreciate them (sometimes). But it's unnerving and I love the peace of my place. Oh well. I think I should go to the beach today.

Stay tuned...

I'm getting a roommate...

Good morning, All

My boyfriend had a second viewing of his house, which could mean that an offer is on the way. It's so exciting! When he receives an offer, we'll be in a better place to lower the price of my place and get it sold too, but in the mean time, he'll be moving in with me.

I still have some time before that happens, but I'm looking at my place with new eyes. I live in a 2 bedroom 2 bath condo, it's 1000+ square feet. Perfect for me and my two cats. Will there be room for my boyfriend? Of course, but then I remember that he'll be bringing stuff too. We'll make it work.

We're getting closer to cohabitation day!

No matter where I turn, there you are...

My boyfriend and I spent the weekend together. We had a blast! Every moment wasn't spent together, occasionally we would return to our separate abodes and then connect again later. After a couple of days I realized that once we move in together wherever I turn, my boyfriend will be there.

What do we do? How do we have privacy? Do we need privacy? Do we chose our separate corners on moving day? What if we have a disagreement? I won't be able to fake an emergency bathroom break to get off the phone, because he'll be standing RIGHT THERE.

Of course, it didn't help that I spent part of my Saturday watching Snapped and Bridezilla.

And then I think of my Jaffrey, my black and white tuxedo kitty. Although he likes my boyfriend, that like is wrapped securely around the knowledge that eventually he'll leave. I can just imagine his surprise when he realizes that not only is the boyfriend not going anywhere, but there are two wet nosed, happy dogs bouncing about too.

This will be interesting.

When you don't see eye to eye...

Granted, my boyfriend and I don't fight. It's a shocker to a lot of people, but we just don't fight. During the rare times when my feminine sensibilities (called PMS) come into play, I usually take myself out of play. When he's being obnoxious, he usually takes himself out of play. We're good at reading ourselves and each other and we adjust accordingly.

However, there are those moments when things just escalate pretty quickly and we have to go to our separate corners. The thing that will suck about living together is that when we don't see eye to eye we can't just get off the phone. This is a scary thought. Right now, our separate corners exist in two different cities, 12 miles apart. We can shut off our phone and we're basically shut off from each other. We have time to cool down, relax, and the re-approach from a much better place.

What the heck are we going to do when we're under the same roof? Draw battle lines, go to opposite ends of the house and pretend that we're alone?

I'm certain that they're a way to maneuver through this and I guess we'll figure it out when that day comes. Until then, we'll just appreciate those 12 miles.

We found our house!!!

Okay, so we've said this so many times that people who know us would roll their eyes at this statement and smile politely while smugly asking "again?"

Yes, Again.

We contacted the real estate agent for a home in Marysville (actually, our agent contacted the sellers agent) and met with her yesterday at the house. (1) the house is amazing, the ground floor master is now a fantastic idea and (2) the wrought iron railing is gorgeous. Real my previous post where I said the opposite.

The seller is a bank, a small bank that is very interested in unloaded the homes builders left behind. This house isn't complete, but all of the big stuff is finished. We'll have to do some painting and a few things here and there and then we have a huge landscaping project ahead of us, but the house is absolutely wonderful. Both of us were like kids on Christmas touring the house and screaming for each other to "come look at THIS." I'm certain the agent was rubbing her hands together in glee.

So now we need to get our houses sold so that we can put in an offer. We're going to let a week go by and we may even consider a contingent offer. Maybe.

Stay tuned for pictures.

And the hunt continues...

We learned recently that although the big banks are dragging their feet when it comes to dumping their inventory of foreclosed homes, the smaller banks are a little more progressive and proactive and are willing to negotiate with would be home buyers. So this afternoon, my boyfriend and I have an appointment to view a home that a builder walked away from. The interior is complete, the grounds need work, and one of the windows needs to be replaced. There is an empty lot next to the house that is available too, which would give us 2 acres.

The house is gorgeous. The only thing that I scrunch my nose at (as I stare through the windows) is the wrought iron banister to the second floor (I'd prefer wood) and the first floor master suite (I'd prefer 2nd floor). Otherwise, the house is gorgeous.

With every house we see, I can't help but to get excited. Although we're moving to Marysville, correction, northwest Marysville, which is going to push me further away from friends, family, and work, I'm moving in with the love of my live (pause for gagging motions, go ahead, you know you want to) and we're getting a dog!

I'll update this post tonight after we see the house.

Our dream house is off the market...

The house that sparked the movement towards putting our places on sale has been taken off the market. Can't say that I'm surprised, because it has been on the market for nearly a year. The couple moved to Oregon and have a house down there. I'm thinking that once our houses are under contract, we can contact this couple and ask if they're interested in selling. I doubt that they're going to pay two mortgages until the market improves.

--

Update: Our agent contacted their agent to see if they'd consider a contingent offer and the answer is "Yes, but....". Famous words that are sure to drive us away and ensure that we will not be buying your home. We've only had one interaction with the agent for this property and it involved her screaming at us, because although we told her we had an agent, she chose not to believe us and then had a screaming fit when we showed up at the house with our agent in tow.

--

Because we loved the house so much, we chose to overlook her momentary lack of professionalism and we dusted off our homes and listed them for a parade (not quite) of would be buyers. We would have loved to move forward with purchasing this house, but the conversation with the agent (as relayed to us by our agent) left us feeling a little skittish. The last thing we want is a battle royale with the sellers when trying to negotiate a fair price (they're listed at $599+, we'd like to offer $540k).

--

So off we go to look in greener, less spending, pastures - the pastures of Aspen. A gorgeous neighborhood in Marysville and in a much more acceptable location. Stay tuned...

And he fixes cars too...

I love that my boyfriend fixes things. He's remodeled his entire house, by his hands, and without going into debt. He does most of my car stuff and he's even taught me how to do a few things. I love a man who can fix stuff!

My boyfriend is a closet neat freak!

We've been on the market for a week now and I'm we've been getting viewings and it's exciting! Is this why I'm blogging? No. I'm blogging, because my boyfriend's place is amazingly clean. Shockingly clean. Spotless.

He's been remodeling his place since I've know him (over four years) so I've always seen it in a state of disarray. Even when he cleaned, it lasted for a few hours until he started sanding things and then there was a layer of dust everywhere. I used to say that if dust were valuable, my boyfriend would be Midas!

I'm a neat freak so the fact that my boyfriend's place is totally clean and has stayed that way for a week is just exhilarating.

Hey, where's the fire sale?

So we've settled on Marysville for our new home (well, my new home), but we're open to other cities as well. This weekend we discussed houses so much that I feel (1) like an expert on everything and (2) I feel like I don't know a thing about real estate.

My boyfriend has been lured by the temptation of purchasing a short sale or a foreclosure and I have to admit that it is very tempting! There are homes that are gorgeous and some that are brand new and they're sitting on the bank's books collecting dust and costing these financial institutions a ton of money.

I haven't been able to confirm this, but read this little tasty bit of info imparted to us by a real estate agent. For every foreclosed home the banks have on their books, they have to keep 7x that amount of liquid assets. That's 7x the assessed value of the home. So, for every $400,000 home on their books, they have to have $2.1 million dollars to cover it. Now doesn't that sound a little nuts and unreasonable? If this were really the case, you'd think that banks would be having a fire sale, bu they're not.

Potential home buyers who are wrangling with the banks are spending weeks waiting for responses and months waiting for closes that may not happen. This is making resales a lot more tempting. And the idea of jumping into this fray not so much. But I'm trying to keep an open mind.

One interesting development - I've received 3 viewings in a week and my boyfriend received 2 on this first listing day!

Stay tuned...

Going Dutch...How do we handle money?

From the beginning of our relationship my boyfriend and I have gone dutch. Either we trade off who pays (if I pay for lunch, my boyfriend pays for dinner) or we just have the bill sliced down the middle. On our first date, I paid. He thought I was sending a message at the time (no man owns me), but I just think that a woman can step up and pay just as easily as a man.

We also try and make a dollar limit on gifts so that one person doesn't go nuts while the other person is frugal. We don't track who has paid what, there isn't a "you owe me" mentality, and I think that this has kept money from becoming an issues in our relationship. Nothing kills romance faster.

When we move in together, we're going to go about things the same way. We plan to open up a joint account, have a portion of our checks auto deposited to said account, and I'll handle paying the bills (although we'll both have access to the books). I'm not a control freak, I just love that type of stuff. I love reconciling accounts, I love auto bill pay, I love working with vendors to get the best deal.

Right now, the biggest challenge regarding money is getting used to the idea that I (nor he) can spend without considering the household. I was planning to sponsor a booth at a pet festival for $500, which is above the $400 threshold we created. If either of us wants to spend this amount or more we need to run it by our partner. Fantastic idea, the left hand should always know what the right hand is doing.

We've made similar money rules about the division of our home's equity and costs related to our pets. The trick will see how we fair once we're actually living together. There may be some adjustments here and there, but nothing we can't handle. We've already discussed cutting way back on dining out and Costco will become our friend. Luckily I'm a good cook!

What does the Bible say...

I've been baptised twice times. When I was a baby, so that if died I wouldn't be sent to purgatory, and when I was twelve, because I was seen as old enough to chose (although it wasn't really posed that way at the time). So yes, I believe in God, Jesus, all the saints. I believe in the Virgin birth and the Resurrection.

I also believe that God didn't create all of this only to have us be miserable. I believe that He wants us to be happy and that the biggest slap in the face to this gift would be to spend our lives making ourselves and others miserable. I believe that God only wants us to be decent to each other, to love each other, to respect each other. My favorite quote on this topic is from The Color Purple. "I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it."

I don't believe that God cares if I get married or not. I think He has bigger fish to fry then my refusal to buy into a sham created by society that just pressures people into taking their relationships to a level that when they're not ready; hence the divorce rate!

I'm happy to note that my very religious family has no problem with our proposed living situation; they just want me to be happy and I love that. My boyfriend's family isn't particularly religious. His ex-wife is (very) and I'm happy to know that so far she doesn't believe that our living situation isn't going to negatively impact her child. So looks like we're good on all fronts!

When people don't support your choice

This is a tough one. We've made the choice to move in together and we're excited. When I'm excited about something, I tell everyone (which I'm learning to dampen down). It's a buzz kill when the response to the great news is negative. It's even more of a buzz kill when that negativity is repeated daily.

My friends have been wonderful and supportive. They're not happy that I've chosen to move to Marysville, but they understand and they're still excited for me and they adore my boyfriend.

My mom was worried about me selling my place at a loss to move in with my boyfriend - I worked hard to become a home owner and she doesn't like me walking away from that. Our home's value will increase faster than that of my condo, so she now understands that it's actually a good move, plus she likes my boyfriend.

My boyfriend's dad thinks it's a bad idea, he doesn't understand why we won't get married. I would be nice if he were on board with everyone else, because now there's this teeny elephant in the room, but he's entitled to his opinion. At least he cares enough for his son to give an opinion.

In the end, it doesn't matter what others think. It's our choice, our life, our home. We're adults and don't need to gain the approval of others. I spent so many years caring what others thought until I learned (I can't remember where I read this) that people's perception of you is based on their own past experiences. The best example I can think of the boyfriend who constantly accuses you of cheating while he's screwing everything that moves (his name was Joe).

How many times have you judged someone? Daily? Me too. And each judgement is based on my experience, not on their reality.

Granted we'll never escape wanting to be accepted and liked, but we have to start with ourselves, others will fall in line in their own good time.

Cohabitation without Marriage

One question that I get often, from men and women (the men surprise me) is if we're getting married. And the answer is a resound NO. Granted, I guess it's not completely off the table, maybe we'll get the bug one day and drive to Idaho and do the deed and come home. But there's no rush because...

1. We've both already done the marriage dance and it didn't work out. It's not that either of are anti-marriage, it's just that there's not a lot that the formalities of a wedding and marriage will provide that we don't already have. There some stuff, but we're so great now so why change.



2. I absolutely abhor weddings. I don't like the drama that surrounds them, I don't like being the center of attention (I know, for those of you who know me, this has GOT to be a shocking revelation), and they just cost too much for what you get.



3. I don't know many people who are happily married. Whenever I try to think of a couple, Heidee and Greg are the only two who pop up for me. I'm certain that there are more, but they're just not coming to mind as I type.

There are more reasons, but then it just becomes a situation of protesting too much.

I think the only thing that I'm disappointed about is missing out on the jewelry and the gifts. Granted, we pretty much have everything, but a handful of gift cards always perk up a day!

A new day, a new blog...

I've been blogging about my business with random stuff thrown in here and there for a bit now, because it's been a big part of my world lately. Now I'm moving in with my boyfriend. Fingers crossed that I won't get a cease and desist from the "for dummies" group, but I did a search and the name didn't come up.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years. Our anniversary was actually last week sometime, but we didn't know which day to pick and I like sevens so it became August 7th (yesterday). We met on Match.com. I signed up for a free 30 day trial and got lucky in a week. He contacted me and we chatted, had our first date at TGI Fridays in Kirkland, WA and four years later, here we're house hunting.

We've actually been looking for a house for a while. That's how I ended up in Everett two years ago; it started with our first foray into house hunting (this is attempt number 4). What's the difference this time? Prepare yourself, not very romantic, but my boyfriend is finished with his house, both emotionally and with the remodel. His house looks fantastic, but he's been working on it for years (our entire relationship) and he kicked it into high gear this past year finishing his kitchen, remodeling two bathrooms and the laundry room, and redoing the landscaping.

Both of our homes are on the market and although he's trying to be realistic, I'm just excited and confident that our places are going to sell in now time, because we priced them right! The strange thing is going from having at least 2 showings a day on my first place 2 years ago to 2 showings a week in this real estate market. But at least people are showing up!

So the point of my new blog is document my foray into cohabitation. I'm absolutely excited and a tad bit freaked out about living with my boyfriend. I love him dearly he's amazing, but I'll have to live with a boy and his son (part time), but I get a dog!