Real estate agents & miscommunication

The dream house that I loved so much, the most recent one, has been sold. It's been under contract for nearly 2 months. So when an agent met us so that we could tour the house, it had already been sold to someone else. And for a fantastic price (because it's bank owned).

I'm astounded that one real estate agent was so clueless about the status of the home and that the agent that broke the news to us was so sarcastic and rude about it. "Didn't you notice that there wasn't a sign in front of the house?" Yes, Lady, I did notice. The other agent told us it was because the bank had taken it off the market and was planning to re-list it in a month.

I finally told my boyfriend that I can't look for houses with him anymore. This has always been my stance, because we can't do anything until at least one of our places sell, so why get our hopes up. But his motto is "forewarned is forearmed."

We're having a stand still right now. Not a fight, just silence. I'm exhausted from all of this and we haven't even gotten started yet. What's most interesting is that we're really learning a lot about ourselves and each other.

My boyfriend wants to talk things out over and over and to everyone. I just like to take things one step at a time, focusing most of my attention on the current moment.

My boyfriend wants to be prepared for all possibilities; I don't think that is possible, because the possibilities are endless.

At least we respect our differences and even appreciate them (sometimes). But it's unnerving and I love the peace of my place. Oh well. I think I should go to the beach today.

Stay tuned...

I'm getting a roommate...

Good morning, All

My boyfriend had a second viewing of his house, which could mean that an offer is on the way. It's so exciting! When he receives an offer, we'll be in a better place to lower the price of my place and get it sold too, but in the mean time, he'll be moving in with me.

I still have some time before that happens, but I'm looking at my place with new eyes. I live in a 2 bedroom 2 bath condo, it's 1000+ square feet. Perfect for me and my two cats. Will there be room for my boyfriend? Of course, but then I remember that he'll be bringing stuff too. We'll make it work.

We're getting closer to cohabitation day!

No matter where I turn, there you are...

My boyfriend and I spent the weekend together. We had a blast! Every moment wasn't spent together, occasionally we would return to our separate abodes and then connect again later. After a couple of days I realized that once we move in together wherever I turn, my boyfriend will be there.

What do we do? How do we have privacy? Do we need privacy? Do we chose our separate corners on moving day? What if we have a disagreement? I won't be able to fake an emergency bathroom break to get off the phone, because he'll be standing RIGHT THERE.

Of course, it didn't help that I spent part of my Saturday watching Snapped and Bridezilla.

And then I think of my Jaffrey, my black and white tuxedo kitty. Although he likes my boyfriend, that like is wrapped securely around the knowledge that eventually he'll leave. I can just imagine his surprise when he realizes that not only is the boyfriend not going anywhere, but there are two wet nosed, happy dogs bouncing about too.

This will be interesting.

When you don't see eye to eye...

Granted, my boyfriend and I don't fight. It's a shocker to a lot of people, but we just don't fight. During the rare times when my feminine sensibilities (called PMS) come into play, I usually take myself out of play. When he's being obnoxious, he usually takes himself out of play. We're good at reading ourselves and each other and we adjust accordingly.

However, there are those moments when things just escalate pretty quickly and we have to go to our separate corners. The thing that will suck about living together is that when we don't see eye to eye we can't just get off the phone. This is a scary thought. Right now, our separate corners exist in two different cities, 12 miles apart. We can shut off our phone and we're basically shut off from each other. We have time to cool down, relax, and the re-approach from a much better place.

What the heck are we going to do when we're under the same roof? Draw battle lines, go to opposite ends of the house and pretend that we're alone?

I'm certain that they're a way to maneuver through this and I guess we'll figure it out when that day comes. Until then, we'll just appreciate those 12 miles.

We found our house!!!

Okay, so we've said this so many times that people who know us would roll their eyes at this statement and smile politely while smugly asking "again?"

Yes, Again.

We contacted the real estate agent for a home in Marysville (actually, our agent contacted the sellers agent) and met with her yesterday at the house. (1) the house is amazing, the ground floor master is now a fantastic idea and (2) the wrought iron railing is gorgeous. Real my previous post where I said the opposite.

The seller is a bank, a small bank that is very interested in unloaded the homes builders left behind. This house isn't complete, but all of the big stuff is finished. We'll have to do some painting and a few things here and there and then we have a huge landscaping project ahead of us, but the house is absolutely wonderful. Both of us were like kids on Christmas touring the house and screaming for each other to "come look at THIS." I'm certain the agent was rubbing her hands together in glee.

So now we need to get our houses sold so that we can put in an offer. We're going to let a week go by and we may even consider a contingent offer. Maybe.

Stay tuned for pictures.

And the hunt continues...

We learned recently that although the big banks are dragging their feet when it comes to dumping their inventory of foreclosed homes, the smaller banks are a little more progressive and proactive and are willing to negotiate with would be home buyers. So this afternoon, my boyfriend and I have an appointment to view a home that a builder walked away from. The interior is complete, the grounds need work, and one of the windows needs to be replaced. There is an empty lot next to the house that is available too, which would give us 2 acres.

The house is gorgeous. The only thing that I scrunch my nose at (as I stare through the windows) is the wrought iron banister to the second floor (I'd prefer wood) and the first floor master suite (I'd prefer 2nd floor). Otherwise, the house is gorgeous.

With every house we see, I can't help but to get excited. Although we're moving to Marysville, correction, northwest Marysville, which is going to push me further away from friends, family, and work, I'm moving in with the love of my live (pause for gagging motions, go ahead, you know you want to) and we're getting a dog!

I'll update this post tonight after we see the house.

Our dream house is off the market...

The house that sparked the movement towards putting our places on sale has been taken off the market. Can't say that I'm surprised, because it has been on the market for nearly a year. The couple moved to Oregon and have a house down there. I'm thinking that once our houses are under contract, we can contact this couple and ask if they're interested in selling. I doubt that they're going to pay two mortgages until the market improves.

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Update: Our agent contacted their agent to see if they'd consider a contingent offer and the answer is "Yes, but....". Famous words that are sure to drive us away and ensure that we will not be buying your home. We've only had one interaction with the agent for this property and it involved her screaming at us, because although we told her we had an agent, she chose not to believe us and then had a screaming fit when we showed up at the house with our agent in tow.

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Because we loved the house so much, we chose to overlook her momentary lack of professionalism and we dusted off our homes and listed them for a parade (not quite) of would be buyers. We would have loved to move forward with purchasing this house, but the conversation with the agent (as relayed to us by our agent) left us feeling a little skittish. The last thing we want is a battle royale with the sellers when trying to negotiate a fair price (they're listed at $599+, we'd like to offer $540k).

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So off we go to look in greener, less spending, pastures - the pastures of Aspen. A gorgeous neighborhood in Marysville and in a much more acceptable location. Stay tuned...

And he fixes cars too...

I love that my boyfriend fixes things. He's remodeled his entire house, by his hands, and without going into debt. He does most of my car stuff and he's even taught me how to do a few things. I love a man who can fix stuff!

My boyfriend is a closet neat freak!

We've been on the market for a week now and I'm we've been getting viewings and it's exciting! Is this why I'm blogging? No. I'm blogging, because my boyfriend's place is amazingly clean. Shockingly clean. Spotless.

He's been remodeling his place since I've know him (over four years) so I've always seen it in a state of disarray. Even when he cleaned, it lasted for a few hours until he started sanding things and then there was a layer of dust everywhere. I used to say that if dust were valuable, my boyfriend would be Midas!

I'm a neat freak so the fact that my boyfriend's place is totally clean and has stayed that way for a week is just exhilarating.

Hey, where's the fire sale?

So we've settled on Marysville for our new home (well, my new home), but we're open to other cities as well. This weekend we discussed houses so much that I feel (1) like an expert on everything and (2) I feel like I don't know a thing about real estate.

My boyfriend has been lured by the temptation of purchasing a short sale or a foreclosure and I have to admit that it is very tempting! There are homes that are gorgeous and some that are brand new and they're sitting on the bank's books collecting dust and costing these financial institutions a ton of money.

I haven't been able to confirm this, but read this little tasty bit of info imparted to us by a real estate agent. For every foreclosed home the banks have on their books, they have to keep 7x that amount of liquid assets. That's 7x the assessed value of the home. So, for every $400,000 home on their books, they have to have $2.1 million dollars to cover it. Now doesn't that sound a little nuts and unreasonable? If this were really the case, you'd think that banks would be having a fire sale, bu they're not.

Potential home buyers who are wrangling with the banks are spending weeks waiting for responses and months waiting for closes that may not happen. This is making resales a lot more tempting. And the idea of jumping into this fray not so much. But I'm trying to keep an open mind.

One interesting development - I've received 3 viewings in a week and my boyfriend received 2 on this first listing day!

Stay tuned...

Going Dutch...How do we handle money?

From the beginning of our relationship my boyfriend and I have gone dutch. Either we trade off who pays (if I pay for lunch, my boyfriend pays for dinner) or we just have the bill sliced down the middle. On our first date, I paid. He thought I was sending a message at the time (no man owns me), but I just think that a woman can step up and pay just as easily as a man.

We also try and make a dollar limit on gifts so that one person doesn't go nuts while the other person is frugal. We don't track who has paid what, there isn't a "you owe me" mentality, and I think that this has kept money from becoming an issues in our relationship. Nothing kills romance faster.

When we move in together, we're going to go about things the same way. We plan to open up a joint account, have a portion of our checks auto deposited to said account, and I'll handle paying the bills (although we'll both have access to the books). I'm not a control freak, I just love that type of stuff. I love reconciling accounts, I love auto bill pay, I love working with vendors to get the best deal.

Right now, the biggest challenge regarding money is getting used to the idea that I (nor he) can spend without considering the household. I was planning to sponsor a booth at a pet festival for $500, which is above the $400 threshold we created. If either of us wants to spend this amount or more we need to run it by our partner. Fantastic idea, the left hand should always know what the right hand is doing.

We've made similar money rules about the division of our home's equity and costs related to our pets. The trick will see how we fair once we're actually living together. There may be some adjustments here and there, but nothing we can't handle. We've already discussed cutting way back on dining out and Costco will become our friend. Luckily I'm a good cook!

What does the Bible say...

I've been baptised twice times. When I was a baby, so that if died I wouldn't be sent to purgatory, and when I was twelve, because I was seen as old enough to chose (although it wasn't really posed that way at the time). So yes, I believe in God, Jesus, all the saints. I believe in the Virgin birth and the Resurrection.

I also believe that God didn't create all of this only to have us be miserable. I believe that He wants us to be happy and that the biggest slap in the face to this gift would be to spend our lives making ourselves and others miserable. I believe that God only wants us to be decent to each other, to love each other, to respect each other. My favorite quote on this topic is from The Color Purple. "I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it."

I don't believe that God cares if I get married or not. I think He has bigger fish to fry then my refusal to buy into a sham created by society that just pressures people into taking their relationships to a level that when they're not ready; hence the divorce rate!

I'm happy to note that my very religious family has no problem with our proposed living situation; they just want me to be happy and I love that. My boyfriend's family isn't particularly religious. His ex-wife is (very) and I'm happy to know that so far she doesn't believe that our living situation isn't going to negatively impact her child. So looks like we're good on all fronts!

When people don't support your choice

This is a tough one. We've made the choice to move in together and we're excited. When I'm excited about something, I tell everyone (which I'm learning to dampen down). It's a buzz kill when the response to the great news is negative. It's even more of a buzz kill when that negativity is repeated daily.

My friends have been wonderful and supportive. They're not happy that I've chosen to move to Marysville, but they understand and they're still excited for me and they adore my boyfriend.

My mom was worried about me selling my place at a loss to move in with my boyfriend - I worked hard to become a home owner and she doesn't like me walking away from that. Our home's value will increase faster than that of my condo, so she now understands that it's actually a good move, plus she likes my boyfriend.

My boyfriend's dad thinks it's a bad idea, he doesn't understand why we won't get married. I would be nice if he were on board with everyone else, because now there's this teeny elephant in the room, but he's entitled to his opinion. At least he cares enough for his son to give an opinion.

In the end, it doesn't matter what others think. It's our choice, our life, our home. We're adults and don't need to gain the approval of others. I spent so many years caring what others thought until I learned (I can't remember where I read this) that people's perception of you is based on their own past experiences. The best example I can think of the boyfriend who constantly accuses you of cheating while he's screwing everything that moves (his name was Joe).

How many times have you judged someone? Daily? Me too. And each judgement is based on my experience, not on their reality.

Granted we'll never escape wanting to be accepted and liked, but we have to start with ourselves, others will fall in line in their own good time.

Cohabitation without Marriage

One question that I get often, from men and women (the men surprise me) is if we're getting married. And the answer is a resound NO. Granted, I guess it's not completely off the table, maybe we'll get the bug one day and drive to Idaho and do the deed and come home. But there's no rush because...

1. We've both already done the marriage dance and it didn't work out. It's not that either of are anti-marriage, it's just that there's not a lot that the formalities of a wedding and marriage will provide that we don't already have. There some stuff, but we're so great now so why change.



2. I absolutely abhor weddings. I don't like the drama that surrounds them, I don't like being the center of attention (I know, for those of you who know me, this has GOT to be a shocking revelation), and they just cost too much for what you get.



3. I don't know many people who are happily married. Whenever I try to think of a couple, Heidee and Greg are the only two who pop up for me. I'm certain that there are more, but they're just not coming to mind as I type.

There are more reasons, but then it just becomes a situation of protesting too much.

I think the only thing that I'm disappointed about is missing out on the jewelry and the gifts. Granted, we pretty much have everything, but a handful of gift cards always perk up a day!

A new day, a new blog...

I've been blogging about my business with random stuff thrown in here and there for a bit now, because it's been a big part of my world lately. Now I'm moving in with my boyfriend. Fingers crossed that I won't get a cease and desist from the "for dummies" group, but I did a search and the name didn't come up.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years. Our anniversary was actually last week sometime, but we didn't know which day to pick and I like sevens so it became August 7th (yesterday). We met on Match.com. I signed up for a free 30 day trial and got lucky in a week. He contacted me and we chatted, had our first date at TGI Fridays in Kirkland, WA and four years later, here we're house hunting.

We've actually been looking for a house for a while. That's how I ended up in Everett two years ago; it started with our first foray into house hunting (this is attempt number 4). What's the difference this time? Prepare yourself, not very romantic, but my boyfriend is finished with his house, both emotionally and with the remodel. His house looks fantastic, but he's been working on it for years (our entire relationship) and he kicked it into high gear this past year finishing his kitchen, remodeling two bathrooms and the laundry room, and redoing the landscaping.

Both of our homes are on the market and although he's trying to be realistic, I'm just excited and confident that our places are going to sell in now time, because we priced them right! The strange thing is going from having at least 2 showings a day on my first place 2 years ago to 2 showings a week in this real estate market. But at least people are showing up!

So the point of my new blog is document my foray into cohabitation. I'm absolutely excited and a tad bit freaked out about living with my boyfriend. I love him dearly he's amazing, but I'll have to live with a boy and his son (part time), but I get a dog!