Thursday, October 1, 2009

With him comes the family...

Have you ever wondered why a woman doesn't just leave an abusive situation? All she has to do is call a couple of friends over to keep watch while she packs and...

FIND A NEW HOME
find a place to stay with enough room for her, the kids, and the pets; come up with first, last, and damage deposit for this place that takes lots of pets; rent a moving truck and have enough friends available to help you move

by the way, you're doing this under a barrage of abuse, threats, and a lovely pity party

THE KIDS
if the kids are school aged, then either this has drastically limited your choice in homes (which is already limited by the fact that you need so much space, it needs to accept pets, and you're on a budget), because you'll want to keep them in the same school district (at least keep something the same); if staying in the school district isn't a possibility, then you'll have to uproot your kids from their school too and if school's already started, then that's another hardship to deal with

by the way, you're husband is probably threatening suicide now and blaming you

THE PETS
when you have a family, you adopt pets; landlords are wary of pets, because of the damage they can do to a home and yard so they either say NO to pets or they require a spendy, nonrefundable, damage deposit, if you're on a budget, can you afford another deposit; but pets are family members too so you can't leave them behind with the abuser

by the way, your husband has been unpredictable and threatening physical abuse, so are you sure he won't hurt the pets

BUSINESS
what if you have a business, a new business? this life interruption may damage the progress you've made, because you may have to take off a week or two to get everything settled; clients are hard to come by with heavy competition and a down economy, so this needs to be handled with kid gloves

by the way, your husband has access to your client files, website, and other marketing materials and threatens to ruin your reputation

THE FRIENDS /FAMILY
if you're like me, then you have no experience with domestic violence, not even in the peripheral; how do you support someone going through something like this? how do you deal with their wishy-washy demeanor when it comes to dealing with this overwhelming list of things to do? how does the wife ask for help and support while standing tall on her own?

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